The Sacred Feminine Mystery School Vision

 

O u r  G l o b a l  V i s i o n

 

 

♥  Imagine a world in which sexual assault, sex trafficking, and childhood sexual abuse no longer exist.

Imagine a world in which parents, schools, and religions teach age-appropriate sexual education that is life-affirming, truthful, shame-free, and respects the sacredness of our bodies.

♥  Imagine a world where balanced masculine and feminine energies are safe to be fully expressed.

♥  Imagine a world where people of all genders and colors accept and acknowledge each other as empowered, sovereign beings.

♥  Imagine a world in which our sexual energy is honored as sacred.

♥  I believe this world is within our reach, in our lifetime. When we heal our own sexuality, we impact every aspect of our lives… our relationships, our families, our work, our passion for life, our health and vitality, and the health and vitality of our planetary society.

♥  Imagine a world in which safe, gentle, effective sexual healing is readily available. It’s here, and it’s called Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing®.

Learn more about upcoming retreats, weekend workshops, and teacher trainings here.

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On FIRE and in AWE

[Guest Post by Pat Hastings Burns]

As I sit on the plane waiting for it to take off, my heart is full of gratitude and awe. I am returning to Maui from Oakland, California after assisting Amrita Grace at the Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing weekend.

The only way I can describe what I am feeling is that I am on FIRE to share this sacred, holy work with all women. This work is powerful and profound as well as gentle and safe. I have EXPANDED and gone deeper than I ever thought possible. I am healing trauma and deep wounding in my body from this lifetime and past generations.

What a great opportunity to assist Amrita and learn how to lead a weekend workshop. Learning to teach this work is one of the best decisions I have made. When I complete my training, I will be able to teach this practice all over the world. How good is that and in divine timing!

Being on the “other side” as an assistant, I watched the women on the weekend transform before my very eyes. The women faced their fears and embraced the Goddess and power within. It was extraordinary and beautiful to be a part of.

As part of my six-month training to become a Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator, I will be leading a weekend workshop along with 2 of my classmates on Maui on January 5-6. The weekend is starting to fill up and we are so excited.

On the plane ride to Oakland for the workshop, I experienced a DIVINE set-up or what I call a GodIncidence. I sat next to a young woman that when we started talking, we didn’t stop for 4 hours.

She is a videographer and just finished shooting a spiritual retreat at Lumeria Retreat Center here on Maui. She lives in Mexico and is a yoga teacher and retreat leader herself. The door opened for me to share about the Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing weekend when she asked, “What are you going to California for?”

After I shared my journey of healing from sexual abuse, she shared she was drugged and raped by a co-worker recently and hadn’t talked about it or had any therapy for it. I validated her. listened to her story and encouraged her to seek treatment. I invited her to attend the workshop here on Maui in January. She seemed excited about attending it and will let me know if it will work for her. She also said, “Perhaps you can come to Mexico to teach about sacred sexual healing.”

I was led to share with her that I was an Alcohol and Drug therapist for 20 years. That opened another door that was extremely meaningful. She shared her family dynamics as her mother is an active alcoholic. She also shared how she always attracts men who have addiction problems and didn’t understand why.

I shared my story of growing up with an alcoholic mother and what I did to heal. I told her about 12 step programs and how they helped me understand the disease and recover. She was so receptive and said, “I will definitely check out meetings when I return home.”

Holy moly, I could not have chosen a better woman to sit next to so I could share my gifts and wisdom. As the plane was about to land and we exchanged emails and phone numbers, she looked at me and said, “When I was walking up the aisle to find my seat, I prayed and asked God to let me sit next to someone who would have a message for me.”

I know more than ever that I am always guided and provided for when I listen and follow my heart. I “show up” and trust there is a divine plan and God’s timing is always perfect.

From Amrita: Thank you, Pat, for trusting yourself and your guidance and becoming part of the growing community of women who understand the power of Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing. The Sacred Feminine Mystery School is very lucky to have you as a student learning to teach this work!

Learn more about this work and what you can receive from it in the video below.

 

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Why I Didn’t Report My Sexual Abuse

This is a story of sexual abuse. While it’s not graphic in any way, it still may be uncomfortable to read. It does have a very happy ending!

We’ve just come off the week of the Kavanaugh hearings, during which time I was with my stepdad in the hospital. Needless to say, my focus was with my family.

As I headed home from the Mohave Desert where he and my mom live, I began to take in the responses and the backlash from so many people, mostly women, who are now telling their own stories of unreported abuse. I decided to tell my own in solidarity and as an inspiration to others.

Behind Closed Doors

I was around 5 years old when my mom married a violent pedophile who had probably been abused as a child himself (I later determined). Of course, she didn’t know he was violent or that we would suffer sexual abuse… but he looked like Elvis and she was mad for Elvis. She was in her early 20’s with 2 toddlers, recently divorced.

In addition to the sexual abuse, there was physical (extreme punishments for exaggerated misbehavior) and emotional (we were threatened not to tell, ever) abuse. He was in our lives for more than 5 years, and even after he left, my mom would still give him custody of us occasionally. Once it was to learn to shoot a rifle (which I had no desire to do).

Carrying The Secret – Life or Death

I held the secrets in shame and fear until I was 17, and by then I was pretty messed up. My mom was in shock and didn’t know what to do for us. She considered pressing charges but knew that would mean we would have to testify and that would be horrible and traumatic for all of us as well as the words of children against the words of an adult. She never reported the abuse, but she did believe us. This was in the late 70’s, and there was really no clear path to assisting the child victims of abuse. I do not recall being offered counseling or any kind of support to help us work through it.

My abuser died in 2010. As far as I know, he was never prosecuted for his crimes. I suspect there were other victims. 

The Big, Bright Silver Lining

As unfortunate as this sexual abuse story is, it propelled me on a path that eventually led to my sacred work as a teacher of sacred sexual awakening and healing. This came about after 20 years of acting out, destructive behavior, and addiction and co-dependency. I have no regrets and have resolved all of it within myself over the course of my life. I wrote an award-winning, bestselling book about it to support others (and it has helped many) and I offer it as a free PDF on my website as well as print, audio, and Kindle versions on Amazon.

Sacred Sexual Healing Saves Lives

Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing SAVED MY LIFE. Not so much in a literal sense as my life was never really at risk, but in that it gave me everything I needed to create a life of joy, wholeness, and contentment. It gave me the capacity to attracted a cherished beloved and to navigate my own shadows on an ongoing basis. I believe in this work and am passionate about making it widely available.

I know that high-integrity sexual healing is going to be in huge demand in the coming years because of all that’s emerging now to be healed and integrated. That’s why I created a school and a teacher training for Certified Spiritual Sexual Educators. It’s time for women (and all people) who are ready to heal to have access to TOOLS THAT WORK.

I invite you to share your own story in the comments if you like. Know that you will be heard and believed. It’s time to heal these wounds and be free.

With love and gratitude, Amrita

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How to Turn a Hurricane Around in 3 Not-So-Easy Steps

Last week I moved across the state of North Carolina right into the furious face of Hurricane Florence. Why did I do this? Read on to find out.

If you’ve ever put a house on the market, you know that you might sit on it for months or it might sell very quickly. Having put our house up for sale in a very slow real estate market two months prior with only 3 or 4 lookers, I was resigned to staying through the winter. Not only resigned but quite content to do so. Resolved, you might say.

Step 1. Sell your house.

Well, sometimes life turns on a dime and suddenly you have a new paradigm! On Tuesday, August 14, the offer came. With a 30-day close. Apollo was scheduled to fly out the next day for a 3-week trip. Holy crap.

I took Apollo to the Asheville airport (an hour east of home) and kept on driving to Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill to secure a rental during peak rental season in a 3-college region. Within 24 hours, I was on my way back home with a 6-month lease on a suitable rental and having spent 3 hours with a very generous realtor. It helped that there was really only one rental on the market that was willing to do a 6-month lease. And it was just what we needed! A miracle, for sure.

I packed every day. For days on end. In between bouts of work. And when Apollo got home, we jammed. On Sunday, September 9th, 3-1/2 weeks after the home sale deal was made, Hurricane Florence showed up on our radar. “Shall we delay our move?” asks Apollo. “Absolutely not!” I reply. “Let’s bump it up and hit the road early and see if we can beat the rain.” And beat the rain we did.

Step 2. Cram everything you own into a 26′ Uhaul. 

As we drove East, Hurricane Florence approached the coast with a ferocity that had not been seen for decades. The news media had people whipped into a frenzy and gas stations were running out of gas 150 miles inland days before any weather was due. As we drove the 26′ Uhaul across the state, we witnessed one woman filling soda bottles with gas (and spilling it everywhere) just outside Asheville. We filled the Uhaul with premium gas that day as it was all we could get.

Step 3. Double your drive time to the new location.

The normally 4.5-hour drive took 8+ hours and we arrived in Chapel Hill at 11:00 pm after a day of truck loading and final cleaning that started not all that long after midnight. There was a fender-bender in a parking lot involved… gigantic Uhaul with tired driver vs. parked car. Breathe, ground, rest, and get food while waiting to file the police report. (Insurance covered all damages, thankfully.)

Keeping a close eye on Hurricane Florence, and we began to notice something very interesting happening: the hurricane outlook began to curve around us and was projected to impact the area we left more than the area we were going to!

Hurricane Florence

Projections from early in the week

Hurricane Florence

The blue dot is our new location

We were able to get all our possessions put inside the new house before the rain started. Hurricane Florence eventually brought us several inches of rain, thunderstorms, flash flood warnings, and a tornado watch, but nothing like other parts of North and South Carolina, even 100 miles inland in Lumberton, NC (see photo below). Appalachia was not nearly as impacted as was projected, but still, plenty of rain fell on the Carolinas and surrounding states.

A flooded home due to Hurricane Florence

Image credit: AP Photo/Gerald Herbert

It’s been an utterly grueling month, no question about it. We are perched in a rental for a few months until we find our next home. Escrow closed on the old house right on schedule, on Monday 9/17. We are exhausted, sore, and rest-deprived. And ecstatic. Thrilled.

We have been welcomed into our new community with wide-open arms by people we’ve been cultivating connections with over the past year and a half. People we already love dearly. And all the things we’ve been missing while living in beautiful Appalachia are spread out before us like a fresh, delicious buffet. Restaurants. Ecstatic dance. Community. Health food stores. Shopping options other than Walmart!  Trash and recycling pickup right at our curb! Bike lanes! And the internet speeds… oh Happy Day!

For me, the best thing of all is that the Chapel Hill area has embraced and loved my work like no other place. And while I teach all over the world, it’s nice to have a home base that supports what I do and knows the value Sacred Sexual Awakening & Healing. I already have my next weekend in Durham scheduled for June 1-2, 2019, with a Half-Day Intro on March 16.

There are several other Sacred Feminine Mystery School retreats on the schedule as well.

And finally, the hugely successful and expanding Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator Teacher Training 2019 program begins in May.

Amrita Grace The Sacred Feminine Mystery School

I hope to see you at a retreat or training (or on the dance floor) soon!

Love & blessings, Amrita

 

 

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I Have Given Birth to my Sexual Self (Guest Post)

Pat Hastings Burns, AuthorBy Pat Hastings Burns (written after attending the Sacred Feminine Awakening & Healing Maui Retreat).

As I shared in my last blog, I was led to attend the Sacred Feminine Awakening and Healing Retreat on Maui facilitated by Amrita Grace and Caroline Muir. Thank you for your prayers. It was very appreciated.

I have been given the KEYS to unlock the door of my heart to reclaim my life force energy and receive new life, freedom, passion, enlightenment, transformation, and healing. Because of my sexual abuse, I dissociated from my body and didn’t allow myself to receive pleasure. As women, our birthright is pleasure.

I believe the KEYS to my sexual healing are my WILLINGNESS, FAITH, COURAGE and a strong desire to heal deeply. Spirit had prepared me for this retreat that I needed and I was guided each step of the way. I am so grateful for my “YES” and that I didn’t let fear rob me as it had for many years. Instead, with the grace of God, I faced my fear head-on. Alleluia!

It is hard to put into words my experience, but I will try to capture it and share it with you. I have been on the healing/spiritual path for over 40 years and have had lots of therapy, groups, and retreats, but I have never experienced anything like this in all my years. I knew it was time to take my sexual power back as well as clear lifetimes of trauma.

My experience was profound, deep, sacred, holy, and powerful. There were women from the US, as well as from France, Peru, Argentina, Switzerland, Ireland, and Ecuador. The love and sisterhood that was created was extraordinary. We were women sharing and healing one another through our embodiment and through loving one another. Because we are all connected. what each of us does impacts all women.

Our leaders, Amrita Grace and Caroline Muir, created a loving, sacred, and safe container for all of us to open our hearts and heal trauma. We laughed, cried, played, swam, danced, and meditated together. I was surprised that several of the women had not been sexually abused, but were wounded and repressed from childhood and past relationships, both culturally and from their religions.

After attending the retreat and my sexual awakening and healing, something stirred inside of me and it felt like my soul was calling me to work with women and teach them about this sacred experience. I was truly following my heart.

After praying and meditating to discern if it was God’s will and talking to [my husband] Larry about it, I decided to apply for the 6-month teacher training program to become a “Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator.” I had just paid for the retreat and now I was considering putting out a big chunk of money again. GULP. I trusted the money would be provided if this was truly in alignment with God’s will. I know that stepping out in faith and following my heart before the money arrives is essential for my growth.

I felt that this was a call from Spirit, but I didn’t know if I would even be eligible for this training. When I called Amrita to discuss this, she was excited and said, “You are the perfect kind of woman that I want to attract into the program.” We both had chills as the tears were rolling down my cheeks.

I love surprises and synchronicity as well as how Spirit guides and provides for me. The same day I made the decision to move forward and say YES to the certification, I received a call from my son, Brian, telling me he had a buyer for my house in Providence that hadn’t even been put on the market yet. To make it even better, the buyer was going to pay cash. Oh, happy day!

God always provides when I step out in faith, listen to my heart, trust, and act. Receiving the news of an offer on my house on the same day I called Amrita to apply for the certification was a confirmation that I am aligned with God’s will for my life. I am very excited (and scared) about this opportunity to serve and support women, even though I was not looking for another career. I love the saying, “We make plans and God laughs.”

I truly believe that every woman would benefit from this sacred, holy experience. I have been awakened and given birth to my sexual myself.

If this blog has inspired you or helped you in any way, please leave a comment below.

Always with love, Pat Hastings Burns

“There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It is why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.” Oprah Winfrey

Pat Hastings, MS, LCDP, is the author of the award-winning book Simply a Woman of Faith: How to Transform Your Life & Live in Spiritual Power.  Pat is an internationally-recognized Inspirational Speaker, Workshop Leader, Retreat Leader, and Spiritual Life Coach.

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Tantra, Boundary Violations, Sexual Misconduct, and #METOO

The recent eruption of sexual misconduct and boundary violations has finally reached the world of tantra and spirituality. As a teacher of Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing®, I’ve long been aware of tantra and “spiritual” sexuality practitioners who bring their own wounding into their work and who do more harm than good. Even those with the best of intentions for healing often have not done enough of their own shadow work, which must be an ongoing process.

Boundary Violations

It can be especially challenging to untangle boundary violations in the western tantra world, where the teachings are often focused on sexual techniques and exchanges. It can be confusing, especially for beginners, to have clarity on their own boundaries when they are learning how to generate and circulate sexual energy. When violations happen, it’s easy to excuse them as part of the practices. It can all seem a little fuzzy. But it does not have to be.

Wounded Healers

Many tantra and spiritual sexuality practitioners (of all genders) come into the work because they want to heal their own sexual wounding. Often, they do not get far enough along in their own healing before they decide they can start helping others. Some come in because they are attracted to the “taboo” aspect of the work or to get in on the “action.” They get cocky and overly confident and consider themselves “experts.”

More Harm Than Good

I think one of the biggest mistakes that these cocky practitioners make is that they underestimate the power of sexual energy to create unseen energetic bonds between people. When sexual energy is exchanged in a session, something much bigger is being created. When the session is over and the exchange is supposedly complete, those energetic bonds don’t just go away. All people, but women especially, can be re-wounded and traumatized by generating and then abruptly cutting off this powerful connection.

Energetically Hooked

I have seen male practitioners using their charm, good looks, and sexiness to attract women as “clients,” making them feel like cherished lovers and then “dumping” them at the end of the session after the money is paid, sometimes very substantial amounts of money. Or perhaps a series of sessions where the client gets totally “hooked” on the practitioner and sometimes even falls in love. It doesn’t matter what kind of agreements were made or intake forms signed, it’s up to the practitioner (whether male or female) to hold CLEAN, CLEAR space for the client to have their own experience. It’s up to the practitioner to hold professional boundaries at all times for the vulnerable client. Period.

It’s not just male practitioners, either, although male clients get “hooked” for different reasons. There female practitioners using their beauty and sexiness to make their living as well. Because tantra and spiritual sexuality is an unregulated field, there are no established requirements or standards for education, practice-hours, or professional conduct. (The exception to this being sexual surrogacy and Sexological Bodyworkers).

Stalking Shadows

I myself came into the sacred sexual awakening and healing because I desperately needed it. I was lucky to find my way to a very high-integrity school and receive my 2-year certification and 4-year apprenticeship with a teacher who had clear boundaries and held her students to very high standards and ethics. I also encountered teachers along the path who did not hold clear boundaries and saw the impact of that on others and felt it in my own being. It took me years of practice and study to fully manage my own boundaries and to be able to hold safe, clear space for others. To this day, I am vigilant about stalking my own shadows and maintaining the highest integrity and ethics in my teachings.

Crystal Clear Boundaries

My own philosophy in my work is that there are clear, distinct roles in sexual healing. There’s a facilitator and a receiver, and sometimes, a witness. There is clear intention that there will be no “exchange” of sexual energy. The facilitator holds a safe, sacred container for the receiver to have her own experience, whatever that might be. The receiver may be processing anger or rage, or she may be experiencing the awakening of her sexual energy, and it all belongs to her.

Presence – The Feminine Way

The way I teach this work, the facilitator comes into pure, empty presence and holds clean, clear space with intention for the greatest good of the receiver. The facilitator’s only engagement is with herself, keeping herself grounded and fully present. It’s a deeply magical space that allows the receiver to have a pure, unadulterated experience of HER OWN ENERGY. Whether she is laughing, crying, screaming, sounding, or silent, it’s all about her. The presence, clarity, and emptiness of the facilitator allow the receiver to be guided by her own soul to her perfect healing, expansion, and integration.

The Feminine Sexual Empowerment Revolution

The Sacred Feminine Mystery School is on the leading edge of this Re-Evolution. High-quality Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing® teachings are needed by people of all ages and genders. The Feminine is leading the way, and that’s why Caroline Muir and I are training WOMEN to be Certified Spiritual Sexual Educators® with very high standards and ethics. We are paving the way for a world where the cultural sexual shadow is safely HEALING and TRANSFORMING into something new. We are forging new pathways of connection and relationship between the masculine and the feminine. As we all heal from the abuses of the past, we are visioning and creating a New Reality. Are you with me?

How do you see yourself as part of the Feminine Re-Evolution?

(For a deeper dive into the subject of this blog, see the Facebook Live video.)

 

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The Sacred Dance of Masculine and Feminine

The Masculine and Feminine Dance

Yule, or Winter Solstice, is a high holy day that predates Christmas by thousands of years. It’s one I’ve recognized and celebrated in addition to (and more often instead of) Christmas since 2000. As I revisit the lore and mythology of Yule this year, I see a bigger picture that is very relevant for our times: an elegant dance of balance between the masculine and feminine principles.

The Wheel of the Year

My own priestess lineage outlines the God and Goddess story, which illustrates the circle of death and rebirth intertwined with the wheel of the year. It also illustrates the ongoing dance between the sacred feminine and the divine masculine. Here’s the story as I learned it as a young priestess initiate:

At the Winter Solstice, the Sun God (the light returning) is born of the Goddess. It’s likely this helped fuel the Christian mythos of the son of God being born at this time. The Sun God grows and is a small boy at the time of Imbolc (February 2nd). He continues to mature through the Spring Equinox, and by Beltane (May 1), he is in his prime. He mates with the Goddess at this time of the rising sap and riotous blossoming in nature, and then reaches his peak of power at the Summer Solstice (strongest light). From there, he begins his decline through the harvest festivals of Lammas (Aug 1, Autumnal Equinox, and Samhain (Halloween) as the Goddess gestates her pregnancy. During the harvest time, symbolic sacrifices might be made to return his energy to fertilize the earth (ie, burning a straw man, or effigy). During his decline, the Goddess rises in her power as ruler of the dark time of the year, the feminine, the womb, and the time of hibernation. And that takes us back to Winter Solstice when the Sun God is born of the Goddess once again.

The Balance of Masculine and Feminine Power

There is such a beautiful balance of power and support in this exchange. The Goddess as Mother nurtures the God into maturity and watches him shine as he grows and gains power. At his prime, they bring their energies together as Lovers and create new life. As he makes his natural decline, she shines in her power through the harvest season. He gives himself in death to the health and fertility of the land and the fields. And once again at Yule, she gives him birth and nurtures him through the winter.

Bringing it Home

How can we bring this example of the dance of the masculine and feminine into our lives and relationships? That is a pretty complex question. There is such an imbalance of power in the world right now, and there has been for a good long time. However, something is shifting as women come forward to claim their sexual sovereignty, as they have been doing for the past several decades. It’s filtered up from the counterculture of the 1960’s all the way into the mainstream as women step forward and courageously name their aggressors.

Owning it for Ourselves

Ultimately, we must find this dance of masculine and feminine balance within ourselves. We each have all of these energies within us, no matter what our gender – masculine, feminine, perpetrator, victim, and enabler – along with all the other aspects of ourselves that are both conscious and unconscious. Yule is a wonderful time to reflect on the more hidden aspects as we enter the darkest time of the year and emerge into the newborn light.

With bright blessings for your holy day season, Amrita

What would you like to “bring to light” this Yule? Please share in the comments below.

Check out The Sacred Feminine Mystery School 2018 events, including Sacred Feminine Conversations, a Free Global Sisterhood Gathering on January 6th!

 

 

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6 Simple, Powerful Ways to Engage your Inner Sacred Feminine

Our planet needs us to rise to our full divinity, and most of all, and the Sacred Feminine is delivering. The need for balance in all things is being revealed as our global community experiences turbulent weather pattern shifts, increasing political unrest, and an epidemic of emerging sexual shadow. How can we take full responsibility for our own lives and creations?

Begin within

The Sacred Feminine calls for balance right at the root of things – in our own bodies, relationships, and homes. Deeply loving, conscious, compassionate connection to ourselves and to those we love is the first step toward creating balance in the collective consciousness. We become examples for others when we practice elevating our own lives and relationships to the highest level of integrity and communication.

What is the Sacred Feminine?

The new Sacred Feminine is not the matriarchy of the past, nor does it seek to override the current patriarchal rule. It is a new paradigm of honoring the Feminine within everything: ourselves, whether we are male or female; the earth and all her elements and inhabitants; and each other, regardless of race, gender, economic status, or lifestyle. The Feminine brings us the yin qualities of receiving, openness, restfulness, repose, and reflection. Combined with the yang qualities of giving, action, and accomplishment, a balance of give-and-take emerges creates harmony within and without.

Calling Her forth in yourself

As we embody our Sacred Feminine selves, there are some specific ways that we can enhance the rising energies. Here are some ways to get started:

1. Connect with the Earth, outside in nature. Acknowledge her as a living being. Talk with her and listen to her answers. Everything contains consciousness: the sky, the stars, the moon, the plants, the creatures, the rocks, and even the dirt. Walk barefoot whenever possible to allow the wisdom and healing frequencies of the Earth to enter your body.

2. Open your energy channels to the earth and the sky. Your spinal column is a channel for energy that can be invited up from the Earth through your feet and the base of your spine and be sent up into the realms of spirit through the crown chakra and drawn back down into the Earth. You can run this energy through all your energy centers, increasing your vitality and connection with life.

3. Embody your Shakti. Shakti is your creative life-force energy, so much more than sexual energy. Whether you have an intimate partner or not, you can use this abundant resource to revitalize and heal your body and fuel your passion and creativity.

4. Heal yourself first. Because we are all connected, what each of us does individually impacts all others. Paying attention to your own healing first and foremost prepares you to give more fully of yourself from a place of inner balance and overflow.

5. Connect with others of like-heart. Come together in sacred space and share your truest self. See and acknowledge the essential divinity in yourself, in others, and in all of life.

6. Address your sexual healing. We all need it. Because of the impact of religion, advertising, and porn culture, sexual wounding is deeply embedded in the collective. Women are leading the way in this work! If you want to be one of them, check out the Teacher Certification Trainings and Retreats we offer through The Sacred Feminine Mystery School.

The time for the new Sacred Feminine infusion is upon us, and now is the time to assist and support each other through the accelerating changes of our era. These are the times we chose to be born into.

Please share your personal practices for connecting with your inner feminine in the comments.

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The Integration of the Solar Feminine

Creative. Passionate. Receptive. Focused. Pulsating with power.
Glowing with good health. Radiant with self-confidence. The Solar Feminine.

Venus transited the Sun early in June 2012, signifying the rise of a new feminine archetype: the Solar Feminine.

The Lunar Feminine

In recent history, the feminine has been associated with the moon, that heavenly body which does not shine its own light. Rather, it reflects the light of the sun (associated with the masculine). This is an interesting analogy of the role that women have played for the past few thousand years… that of being the reflectors of the shining solar masculine. Consequently, it’s time for the masculine and feminine to come into harmony and balance. It seems like equality isn’t even really the right concept because there are different but complementary gifts that each bring to the mix.

The Power of Yin

The Solar FeminineThe lovely paradox here (and I love paradoxes), is that as women step into empowerment, we must learn to embody the power of our YIN. Yin is the ability to receive; to ask for what we want; to understand our innate power to magnetize all that we desire without needing to chase, quest, and conquer. We get to learn how to recline on the velvet chaise to balance out the busy times. Power meetings with our teams and hours of intense output require downtime. It doesn’t matter if it’s taking care of the house and kids, hours on the phone with clients, planted at the computer desk, or bending over a massage table. Whatever form the giving of our gifts to the world takes must be offset with rest, recreation, fun, and play.

Amrita Grace The Solar FeminineShadow Hunting

I’ve been on a parallel path with the emergence of the Solar Feminine. Her life story and mine are intertwined. What it has taken for me to learn how to recline on the velvet chaise has been no small feat… and I’m still learning. For me, and in the feminine collective, it’s been a journey of intense internal shadow excavation. Most of all, that means leaving behind the old programs of care-taking, control-freaking, shutting up, and all manner of unhealed, compounded wounding we’ve carried through untold generations. I often feel my ancestresses cheering from beyond the veil as I do this work. I ride the leading edge on the back of a tiger, slashing with my sword through old paradigms of feminine victim-hood, martyrdom, and sexual abuse and repression.

The Crucible

Amrita & Apollo Grace The Solar FeminineSeems like I GET to be a change agent, a catalyst, a cauldron stirrer, a crucible. In addition, I get to be all of that from a soft, feminine place, living in harmony with the masculine. I also get to embody wholeness and be a living example of what’s possible when a woman is willing to face her demons and then hug them and welcome them home. I’ve learned to weave my life and work and play and marriage together into a rich, gorgeous, colorful, beautiful tapestry that depicts harmonious scenes of a well-lived life. And, as a beautiful bonus, I have the incredible privilege of being able to share this path to wholeness with those who are seeing me and saying, “I’ll have what she’s having!”

In conclusion, I celebrate that The Solar Feminine has risen in the East, the direction of new beginnings, of sunrise, of Spring, of youth, of playfulness, and the color of orange. She has met the shining masculine in all his powerful glory, bringing a spirit of collaboration, compassion, and creativity. Can I hear a hallelujah?

Blessed be, Amrita  

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Breathe Yourself to Wholeness

If you’ve never experienced breathwork, you are in for a real treat! Breathwork is a powerful healing process that brings forth your own inner healer and has the capacity to release dysfunctional patterns and addictions as well as take you into states of pleasure, delight, and bliss. It’s a highly individual process and every journey is different. It’s a natural way to experience altered states of consciousness assisted by music, your breath, and your intention.

I had my first experience with breathwork in the early 2000’s. It was called Maitri Breathwork and was led by a woman named Anahata in the small mountain community of Murphys, CA. It was an 8-hour experience. I always did like to dive in deep! I found it very healing and loved the natural altered states I could get to. Getting up to go to the bathroom was like being on another planet!

I was exposed to Holotropic Breathwork a few times after that initial experience and found it to be a mixed bag. I loved the loud, evocative music and again, the realms of consciousness not normally available to me. But there was something not quite “complete” about it. I often did not feel grounded afterward.

Then, in 2008, I had the opportunity to experience Shamanic Breathwork®. It was in this magical space that I met my Beloved, Apollo. I asked him to be my co-journeyer – my breathwork partner. In Shamanic Breathwork, I found a freedom of expression, a permission to explore that had not been available to me in previous breathwork sessions. Afterward, we were given art supplies to create a mandala of our inner experience, something that was new to me and that I found to be the missing piece.

Two years later, I was back in that same room, once again in a Shamanic Breathwork holding co-journeyer space for my Beloved. As he came out of his breathwork, in complete silence, he proposed to me. I responded with an enthusiastic but equally silent YES!

My most powerful Shamanic Breathwork experience took place on the Isle of Lewis in Scotland, which contains the Callanish Standing Stones (a complex of many stone circles). When I was first introduced to the stones, they felt like old friends. Curious about that, I took the question into my Shamanic Breathwork session. What was revealed was amazing!

As a breathed my way into an alternate reality, I was shown the standing stones with very light, almost transparent beings weaving through the tops of the stones. They seemed to live above ground, and I was one of them. They showed me that I was a queen in this realm and that some of them had chosen to embody themselves AS the stones. So yes, they were indeed old friends! Tears poured down my face as I recounted the experience to my Beloved (now my husband).

As of June 2017, Apollo and are both now certified as Shamanic Breathwork Facilitators and we’ll be bringing this powerful work into the world! We’ll be co-presenting Tantric Shamanic Breathwork at the Oregon Tantra Festival July 20-24, 2018 on the Clakamas River.

 

Love & blessings, Amrita

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Sexual Healing – The Leading Edge of Personal Growth

Have you done a ton of healing and personal growth work and yet still feel disconnected from your sexuality? I had this exact experience after going through several years of therapy and a variety of personal growth workshops in the late 1990’s. I had to face the fact that none of the work I had done so far addressed my sexual wounding. It was back to the drawing board.

The Miracle of Sexual Healing

Then, by some miracle, I found my way to a school that taught high-integrity sexual healing. I took a weekend for women, signed on for the 2-year certification program, and never left. I moved quickly through the ranks from student to assistant to teacher to administrator to director of the school until it closed in 2012. A few months later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The tools I had gained from my sexual healing and awakening work helped me clear cancer quickly, joyously, and with tremendous ease.

Making it Accessible

I’ve traveled around the country offering workshops in Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing. Consequently, I’ve noticed that the need for accessible sacred sexual healing workshops is much more powerful and compelling at this time than ever before.

Clearing Lifetimes of Trauma

Because we bring a ceremonial element to the work, it is quite multi-dimensional. What that means is that natural altered states of consciousness become accessible. Subtle altered states often lead to visions of past lives being healed and assistance from higher guidance. Ancestral trauma can be cleared in a very short space of time. These are just a few examples of what’s possible even in a very short, fully clothed sexual healing session.

Powerful, Safe, Feminine

The fully clothed Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing® (AH Practice) was developed by Caroline Muir. It’s the most powerful, safe, feminine, and accessible sexual healing modality available today. I love teaching this work and witnessing the miracles that people experience as a result of loving, healing energy work with permission and no agenda is brought to their bodies, including their lower chakras. Leaving out the lower chakras is the missing piece in all the other healing modalities. The lower chakras are strictly off limits, and that’s totally appropriate.

Bring on the Blessings

It’s time for something new and I’m here to bring it! I love teaching the AH Practice, which I have been immersed in since 2005. This practice helped me fully heal my sexuality and attract an amazing and beautiful beloved relationship into my life. It’s time for this potent work to be available to everyone who wants to live a fully integrated life. It’s also time for a new Certification Program to train women to teach this work. Caroline Muir and I have partnered to make it available to a much wider audience through The Sacred Feminine Mystery School.

You Can Have it, Too!

If you feel called to learn more, please visit our events page. Applications are being accepted for our teacher training Certification Program for 2019-2020. I am beyond thrilled and very honored to be fulfilling my sacred purpose on this planet in this way.

With immense gratitude and love, Amrita

 

 

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When Kali Comes Out to Play

Kali unfurls her tongue in her role as the ultimate deliverer called upon to salvage a situation that seems hopelessly out of control.

A little bit of backstory…

In August of 2014, on the heels of my dance with breast cancer, I made a solo sojourn to my home and roots, Northern California, to visit my nearest and dearest friends and family. I made a 1000-mile figure 8 loop that took me from the Bay Area to Calaveras County (where I lived for 13 years) to the Sierra Foothills and Tahoe, visiting every dear friend and family member I could find. It took me a month. That was my last trip to CA. I was long overdue for a visit. I had not seen my three sisters or two best women friends in two and a half years.

California dreamin’

It was a short trip, and Apollo joined me for this one. I made plans to briefly visit my two besties and my mom and sisters. It was hectic and the visits were short but sweet. When someone asked me why I was making this trip, I thought for a moment and said, “I’m here to love the people I love!” I didn’t really grasp that wouldn’t be all sunshine and roses. Just a few days in, the dramas began to unfold.

Elephant in the room

I’m going to change the names to protect the innocent. I’m not looking to embarrass anyone or elevate myself in any way. Mostly, this story is about the power of love in all its forms and what I’m willing to do for those I care about. Hold space for intense meltdowns. Shift from mild-mannered visiting sister/friend into a wicked “tough love” paradigm-shifter. Call out the elephant in the room that’s left piles of poo everywhere. The elephant no one else is willing to see or talk about. I love elephants, don’t get me wrong… but those invisible, metaphoric space-holders call out my Kali, especially when they involve someone I love.

Not quite what we had in mind…

The first drama involved a couple, dear friends both of them, who were experiencing intense, painful challenges in their relationship. I started getting angry texts before we even arrived, and once we did arrive, both Apollo and I held a powerful space for this beautiful couple to dive deep and navigate the underworld. Things felt stable when we left, and we felt we had been a true contribution to them. But it definitely wasn’t what we had envisioned for a visit. Apollo and I left ever so grateful for the loving, solid, easeful relationship we have.

Collateral damage

The next stop left me shocked and appalled. To see someone so dear to me several years into heavy drug and alcohol addiction and all of that showing on her face and in her nearly-wrecked life. Having not seen “Jennifer” in more than 2 years, I could see the heavy damage to her body and especially her face. It reminded me of some “before and after” pics I had seen once online of meth addicts whose faces had deteriorated beyond recognition. I was seeing a skull instead of a face. It scared me badly and my inner Kali began to rise.

Gathering the forces of good

I was reunited with Jennifer’s daughter “Angela,” who was not speaking to her mom because of the addictions and felt the loss deeply. She’s in her early 20’s. Since we were all going to be in the same room together, I invited Angela to write out her thoughts and feelings. Then I decided that some kind of intervention was in order. My time was short. I would be on a plane early the next morning. I invited all the others that we would be gathering with to write something to Jennifer as well. No one responded to my email. The elephant grew bigger. It was up to me and Angela. After avoiding Jennifer during the gathering and seeing how that impacted her, Angela finally decided to give her the 8-page handwritten letter. I had read it already. It was heart-wrenching. She wanted her mama back. They had grown up together and were best friends.

Kali roars to life

I decided this was my time to move. Jennifer’s façade was cracked. The hardened addict that refused to feel anything and masked all her pain with drugs and alcohol was feeling something. And Kali came roaring to the surface. I had been so supportive and loving in the past, not judging Jennifer for her drug use, just loving her. That wasn’t working. At all. I asked hard questions and made harsh observations. Just me and Jennifer, one on one. She wouldn’t look me in the eye until I demanded it. I pointed out the car “accident” she had recently had, totaling her truck (which wasn’t her fault, nothing was ever her fault). No such thing as accidents, Kali told her. Wake up call. WAKE UP before you lose EVERYTHING! Including your 15-year old daughter, who is cutting herself in her room. “Why do you suppose she is doing that?” asked Kali… “Perhaps because she has no mom and her home life is trashed?”

Good cop, bad cop

Angela and I naturally fell into roles of good cop and bad cop. Angela, crying for her mama back from her broken-heart space somehow reached through the hard shell of addiction, and Kali waltzed in for the kill. That necklace of skulls is not made of plastic, you know. Kali slashed the air with her knife and cut through the bullshit and excuses.

Tough love

In the end, Jennifer told the gathered group that she would go into rehab. She nearly chickened out of that, but between Angela’s powerful request that she do so and Kali’s enforcement, it happened just before we all left the gathering. Now, we must all hope and pray for redemption for the one we love and almost lost.

Compassionate Kali

Kali is considered one of the most compassionate of the Hindu deities because she provides liberation to her children. She and Shiva are the destroyers of unreality. The ego trembles in the presence of Kali, knowing that its demise is imminent. A person who is attached to their ego will not be receptive to Kali and she will appear in a fearsome form. A mature soul who engages in spiritual practice to remove the illusion of the ego sees Kali Ma as very sweet, affectionate, and overflowing with incomprehensible love for her children. [Adapted from http://www.goddess.ws/kali.html]

Hope and prayers

I love you, Jennifer. I pray for you every day. May the universe conspire to bring you everything you need to transform into the woman you were born to be. Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Auntie, and perhaps eventually, Grandmother.

Blessed be, Amrita

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Sexual Energy is Powerful Medicine

Isn’t sexual energy just for sex?

Sexual energy has the power to create new life as well as heal all manner of imbalances, blocks, dis-eases, and illnesses. Perhaps this is a new idea for you, using sexual energy for anything other than sex. It is for most people.
Our life force energy is the most abundant energetic resource available to us. It’s a precious gift that has infinite applications beyond physical sexual connection. Imagine orgasmic, sexual energy as the most powerful healing potion in the universe. It’s free, readily available, infinitely abundant, and intrinsically yours. If you had access to such a potent healing elixir, wouldn’t you want to use it?

The power of Shakti

We can look at sexual energy or life force energy in a larger context by considering Shakti. Shakti is the feminine principal of the universe. It’s the fullest possible expression of the feminine without restrictions, limitations, or boundaries as well as the untamed, primal creative force and the agent of change and liberation. When you embrace Shakti energy, you live deeply from your creative center and move and flow as you are inspired to rather than as you think you should. Shakti inspires you to dance like no one is watching, even when they are. Shakti energy is snake energy: sinuous, always moving, and sometimes a little dangerous.

Why sexual energy for healing?

Sexual energy is an unlimited resource that we all have access to. It has the power to clear blockages and congested energy when used with intention. Stuck energy, unresolved pain and wounding, and repressed emotions are all contributors to illness and dis-ease. Using sexual energy for healing may take some focus and practice, and it will likely bring things to the surface that have been previously hidden. It’s not always an easy path but it is a rewarding one.

Here’s an example of how it’s worked for me:

I began my journey with sexual healing in 2005, by attending workshops and trainings that taught me sexual healing and awakening practices (I was single at the time). I met my beloved partner in 2008 and he was also involved in sexual healing. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013, I used all the tools I had gained to heal my cancer in less than three months. I used a combination of alternative medicine, allopathic medicine, and sexual energy practices. I believe that my deep connection with my sexual energy made my journey with breast cancer easy, joyful, and free of the pain, fear and anxiety that most people experience with a cancer diagnosis.

What if I’m not in a sexual relationship right now?

This is the most important time of all to cultivate your sexual energy, as most people tend to shut down their sexual energy when they are not in a relationship. Though it seems like a logical thing to do, it’s not at all beneficial for your being. You want access to all of your life force energy, right? Whether you’re exchanging it with a partner or not, you have an opportunity to cultivate personal sexual healing and awakening practices that will empower you for the rest of your life.

How do I cultivate my own sexual energy?

There are some foundational practices that you’ll want to master before you begin cultivating sexual energy on a solo basis.

  • Grounding – creating a solid physical connection with the earth and your body
  • Presence – full attention, awareness, and participation in the present moment
  • Breath – an ability to deepen your breath and breathe into your whole body
  • Imagination – an ability to see, hear, and feel beyond your thinking mind
  • Intention – a clear, focused desire that you bring to your practices

Once you have a handle on these simple practices, you will have the capacity to make good use of the sexual energy that arises as you initiate the cultivation practices. Generating sexual energy outside of a sexual situation takes some practice, but it’s well worth it as you alchemically create the potent life-force elixir that will feed and nourish your whole being.

Cultivation practices:

  1. Stirring the Cauldron

Begin by getting grounded and bringing your awareness to your pelvic region with some deep breaths. Fill your pelvic bowl with your breath on each inhale (if you don’t know how, imagine that you do). Send what you no longer need out through your feet with each exhale, using your intention.
Start slowly moving your hips in small circles. You can do this either standing or sitting, or even lying down. As you feel your hips warming up, make the circles bigger. Keep breathing into your pelvis. Be sure to circle in both directions.
Imagine you are stirring a cauldron (with your hip movements) filled with sacred healing elixir that’s just for you. Notice what gets “stirred up” as you move. Notice how much range of movement you have in your hips. Try other kinds of hip movements, like side-to-side or tipping your pelvis front to back. Make this a daily practice and tune in; notice any information your pelvis offers you.

  1. Priming the Pump

In a seated position, ground yourself and become present with your body and your breath. Allow your awareness to drop into your pelvic floor. Lift your pelvic floor by gently squeezing the muscles in that region and then releasing them completely. The point is not to strengthen the muscles, as in kegel exercises, but to invite an awakening from the reservoir of sexual energy that spirals at the base of your spine and “pump” it up your spine to circulate through your body.
As you squeeze and inhale, visualize the energy rising up your spine and enlivening your entire body. Notice what you feel and how you are impacted by this practice. If you feel absolutely nothing at first, keep practicing and noticing, a little each day.

  1. Connecting Heart & Genitals

This is a wonderful thing to do as you lay down for sleep and as you awaken in the morning. Lay one hand over your pubic mound and one hand over your heart center, and just let them rest there. Notice how it feels to connect with yourself in this non-sexual way. Can you feel any energy in your pelvis? Can you feel an energetic connection between your pelvic region and your heart?
Imagine you can run energy in your body between these two powerful centers. If you don’t know how, pretend or imagine that you do. You can combine this practice with Priming the Pump to jumpstart the circulation of energy. Build up to a daily practice and keep noticing how it feels.

How do you use sexual energy for healing?

As you build sexual energy and recirculate it in your own system, you will be naturally engaging healing processes in your body. You can amp it up with your intention and imagination; for example, sending pure life force into a part of you that needs healing or into the cells of your body. Allow your body to guide you… check in with your body and ask it what it needs, then listen with all your senses. Trust what arises, even if you think you are making it up. Your imagination is the gateway to your intuition.
I would love to add my intention to yours. Please post your personal intention for healing in the comments section and I will hold it with you.

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The Birth of The Sacred Feminine Mystery School

A new generation of feminine empowerment is rapidly on the rise. As women step up and speak their truth about sexual harassment and abuse, they claim their sexual sovereignty. But what about the impact of all that sexual wounding? It doesn’t just vanish.

On the contrary, it gets stored in our bodies and energy fields. In some cases, it eventually manifests as disease or illness. As our culture rises up against sexual misconduct, we must rise up and clear out the residue in ourselves.

Much of it gets stored in the second chakra or sexual/sacral center. This energy center is the root source of our financial, sexual, creative, and emotional life. It holds enormous power from bringing forth life, to pleasure far beyond imagination. It’s also holding centuries of trauma… cultural, personal, and ancestral. It rarely gets addressed in traditional healing work, for good reason. It’s time for a new paradigm.

The rising tide of women’s sexual empowerment has put a spotlight on the need for sacred sexual healing and awakening. The Sacred Feminine Mystery School is answering that need. We provide retreats for women who want a safe place to heal their sexuality in sacred sisterhood circles as well as a Certified Teacher Training for women who want to provide support for others. Certified Spiritual Sexual Educators® are empowered to teach people of all genders the art of Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing-AH®. 

The Sacred Feminine Mystery School was created by women, for women, and specifically designed to lovingly transmit Women’s Sexual Mysteries and to awaken and heal feminine sexuality. We are building a global community of women who bring impeccable integrity and safety to releasing and healing that which holds us back from our fully-expressed, joyfully abundant selves. Together, we are embodying and advocating a new generation of feminine empowerment.

We’ve spent more than a decade refining our signature Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing practices into a graceful, accessible, divinely feminine body of work. You won’t find this uniquely feminine experience anywhere else!

The Sacred Feminine is rising and calling YOU to your highest soul alignment. There is no more time to waste. She is calling forth her Priestesses to take a stand for Awakening and Healing right now. Once you activate your personal sexual healing and awakening, you become a Chalice that overflows with radiance and wholeness and impacts the entire web of our existence – a Vessel of awakening and healing for everyone you come into contact with.

Learn more about our programs here.

 

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Fall in Love with your Girls!

Snake womanWhy does breast health matter for every woman?

With more than 1 in 8 women being diagnosed with breast cancer in the US and over 300,000 women opting for breast augmentation, breast health has become more important than ever.

There are so many expectations placed on our breasts – are they small enough? Big enough? Perky enough? The “right” shape? As women, we must take a proactive role in caring for our breasts, which starts with falling in love with them.

Heart Pillows

Think about where your breasts are located on your body… right in front of your heart. These beauties are your heart pillows. No matter what size or shape they are, they are your glorious Goddess-given globes! Their location in front of your heart chakra is no accident. As a woman, you penetrate the world with your breasts and your heart.

Starting Over

I’ve had the opportunity to fall in love with a new set of girls, as my original girls were removed during a double mastectomy after my breast cancer diagnosis in 2013. I had the privilege of being attended by highly skilled surgeons and nurses, and after a 14-hour surgery, I had new breasts (sans nipples). I elected not to receive implants, but to have my own belly tissue used to create my new breasts. This reconstruction is called DIEP Flap.

Heart-Yoni Connection

As a sacred sexuality and sexual healing instructor, I learned a long time ago about the connection between my heart and my yoni (sacred word for vulva). For years, I’ve practiced placing one hand on my heart and one on my pubic mound and sending love between these two energy centers. This is such a simple exercise, one you can do before sleeping or upon awakening… or anytime you have a moment to yourself. It’s a great step in the direction of falling in love with your girls.

Massage Breast touch crop

A wonderful way to love your breasts is to take the time to gently and lovingly massage them. You can do this in the shower or afterwards, with your favorite oil. Rub in your love… talk to them and tell them how beautiful they are. Find the beauty in them, no matter their size or shape. Appreciate that you have nipples and love them, too!

Get Them Moving

Girls just gotta dance… you know what I mean? The tissue around your breasts is filled with lymph glands, and lymph glands have no internal pump. Movement keeps the lymph running smoothly, which keeps the body healthy and moves out toxins. Breasts were designed to move… to swing, to bounce, and to shimmy; that’s what keeps the lymph moving. So let your girls dance!

Ditch the Bra

As often as you feel you can get away with it, lose the brassiere. Bras were created to cover, restrain, reveal, or modify the shape of the breasts, and they are commonly accepted as a fashion necessity at this time in our culture. While they do accomplish their purpose, they also restrict the movement of your breasts and clamp down on the lymph glands and pathways. Let your girls move and breath and be free whenever you can. This may be somewhat more uncomfortable for women with larger breasts, so use your best judgment about what works for you.

Your Body Knows Best

Mammograms may be connected to higher rates of breast cancer, so do your due diligence before blindly following doctor’s orders. If possible, get thermography as a safe alternative for cancer screening. If you do receive a cancer diagnosis, take some time to check in with your body and find out what it needs. The medical system has a prescribed “standard of care” conveyor-belt model that is one-size-fits-all, and you have the option of asking your body what SHE wants and needs for her healing. I created a simple, top-notch guide for anyone who has received a breast cancer diagnosis called Don’t Just Survive, THRIVE! The 5 Vital Steps to Take After a Breast Cancer Diagnosis. You can get it here.

Breast health cover 3DIf you would like a free PDF of this blog post, you can get it here.

Please share in the comments below how you feel about your breasts and what, if anything, you would like to change about those feelings!

Love & blessings, Amrita

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Retrieving the Divine Child that Lives in Each of Us

Who is the Divine Child?

beautiful-931152_1280As each of us enters the planet from the non-physical realm, we come in with our being still connected to the wisdom of our soul. We appear in the human realm seemingly a blank slate, but we are anything but. Physically, we are helpless, dependent, and unable to communicate with words. And yet, have you ever looked into the eyes of an infant and seen a vast depth of wisdom and presence?

What so often happens to the divine child is that they lose that soul access as they are acculturated into human life. As they learn to speak and behave according to their caretaker’s rules, the light that they came in with gets dimmer and dimmer, and the inherent gnosis recedes into a very distant place inside of them. If they are lucky enough to have very aware parents, that light may be encouraged rather than extinguished, but still they must learn to function in a human world, and that means there will be bumps and bruises.

Where does the Divine Child go?

The divine child lives on inside of us in that pure and innocent form. No matter what has transpired through your childhood and your life, be it drama, betrayal, or indescribable trauma, that pure drop of God-consciousness lives on, indestructible, eternal. It’s even possible to gain access to that part of yourself while still in human form, if you like. When my divine child appeared to me in a healing session, I was blown away by her wisdom, her power, and her clarity. She came through it all completely unharmed.

The way I was able to access her was through a traumatic, triggering experience that brought forth some intense and very scary emotions, including murderous rage, deep sadness and grieving, and lots of fear. As I worked with a Parts Work facilitator (aka Internal Family Systems) in a deeply shamanic session, I invited each of the parts to come forth so that I could understand their purpose. The murderous rage part, who preferred to be called “Brute Strength,” has been a powerful inner protector of mine through my childhood. His counterpart, “Spiritual Overview,” was a part of me that I didn’t even know about until the session. She was very nebulous and etheric, and she was the one guiding me to “be above” the trauma, to basically be in spiritual bypass around it. The two parts seemed very polarized.

In Parts Work, these parts are called “Protectors.” They protect the “Exile,” or wounded child part, from being further damaged. As they resolved into a team during my session, I began to see that their role had been to keep that Exile safe. What I experienced as an adult took me straight back into the childhood threats and fears and the protectors acted accordingly. Eventually, they revealed themselves as my Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine parts, who gave birth to the Divine Child.

How can we access the Divine Child?

With the permission of the protectors, now that I had their trust, I began to work with the exile. At first, she stepped forward as the wounded child. She told me her name was Broken Heart. Her heart had broken because no one could see what she had to offer when she came into human form: so much love, affection, healing energy, wisdom, and presence. She had not been welcomed and received for who she really was. And her light dimmed until it was just a pinprick. As she was able to express her needs and be seen during the session, her light grew brighter and she felt safe to express herself fully. She transformed into the Divine Child, and now her name is Open Heart.

Each of us carries the Divine Child archetype inside of us. She may be hiding behind the wounded child, but she is there. This is our God spark, the pure, sweet, innocent, wise, beating heart of our soul… still in touch with Source, ready to bring wisdom and council. And each of us has an opportunity to form a relationship with our own Divine Child.

What is your relationship with YOUR divine child?

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Fleeing Fresno High – A Story of Healing and Redemption

A special note to the women who read this, especially the women I went to school with: As a teenager and young woman, I didn’t know how to be with other girls. I only knew how to be with boys/men. I never felt good enough, pretty enough, or like I belonged, even when I was part of the majorette team, and I was competitive and aggressive in a very masculine way. I’ve made it one of my life missions to heal the feminine wound, and to reunite the sisterhood that we all, as women, share. 

I’ve just reclaimed a huge piece of my past… a piece I haven’t been interested in revisiting for over 25 years. A few weeks after being added to a secret Facebook group called “Fresno High Friends,” I decided to reveal my identity as the former Kim Gammel in the group by posting my senior portrait and a group pic of the majorette team that I was on in 1978.

I took a very deep breath before doing so. Would this be a waste of time and energy, a big ol’ black hole? What inner demons might emerge to taunt me about that horrible time in my life when I had few friends and zero self-esteem? I took that breath and went for it, and I’m so glad I did!

I fled Fresno High a couple of times, once in my junior year (for part of the school year) and then in January of 1980, having passed the GED. I said no goodbyes either time. I just bolted.

Let’s rewind the cassette tape back a decade. My mom had divorced and remarried a violent and abusive man. There was physical, emotional, and sexual abuse that went on for 5 years, and that marriage broke up when I was 10. I had been threatened not to tell, and I didn’t… even after he was long gone. I turned it inward and hated myself.

The sexual abuse impacted me in a very particular way. I had no sexual boundaries and after my first post-abuse sexual encounter in my sophomore year, on some level I realized that I now had the power and no one would ever have power over me again. That power grew into a monster over time.

I drew troubled relationships to me, no surprise there. The boy I dated for much of my sophomore year had a nervous breakdown while we were together. I kept all of this secret, as I had been taught to do. Everything was closely guarded and on the sly. I had to shield myself from the shame.

MajorettesIn the summer between 10th and 11th grade, some friends of the family came for a visit, and invited me to come live with them in Sacramento. I imagine that I was complaining about how awful I had it at home, and they took pity on me. The excuse of the moment was that I could not get along with my sister (1 year younger). To illustrate this: I had done a nasty piece of work at the end of the previous school year, during majorette tryouts. My sister was coming in as a sophomore and trying out for the team. I told the coach that I could not be on the same team with her. She didn’t make the team. However, by deciding to move to Sacramento, I gave up my spot and she was placed on the team. I forgave myself a long time ago for that.

During the conversation with my mom and the next stepdad, I told them why I wanted to move away. I felt like a “black sheep.” I didn’t fit in. And somehow during that discussion, the truth finally came pouring out about the sexual abuse. My mom was petrified. Seriously, she could not move or act. I received no help or support, though there was talk of bringing criminal charges. Thankfully, that was abandoned. I was 16.

I moved out of my house and fled Fresno, running hard and fast from my demons. I had peace for a little while, at a new school where no one knew me. I had a boyfriend in Roseville who was very sweet and kind and had a stable family, and that was a very supportive environment. But eventually, I got tired of being a perpetual guest in someone else’s house.

I moved back home and went back to Fresno High partway through my junior year. Someone told me that there was a rumor that I had been pregnant and that was why I left (I was shocked then, but of course it’s no surprise in retrospect). I’ll put that to rest right now. That was not the case. I just ran away when the opportunity presented itself.

Now I had a driver’s license and a car, an old yellow Chevy station wagon my dad gave me. I went down the “stoner” road, smoking cigarettes and drinking Boone’s Farm jug wine when it could be had. I spent evenings dirty dancing at Electra disco and cruising Belmont. And the sexual monster grew.

When the chance to take the GED showed up in my senior year, I grabbed it. I was down to 4 classes and had straight A’s in all of them, but I was bored. My family and home had completely broken up and scattered, and it was time to get out of Dodge once and for all. I can still remember walking out of Fresno High for the last time in January of 1980.

I took a job at China Peak Ski Area, living in the dorms, and the sex-drugs-rock n roll lifestyle kicked in full force. I had also reconnected with my troubled boyfriend from 10th grade. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. Then, I went off for my second season at China Peak and immediately took up with a guy there. I realized that I had a problem… but in that moment, I pushed it away and decided to deal with it later. I broke off the engagement.

I did go to the Fresno High class of ’80 ten year reunion with my then-husband. All my demons came up in my face and I didn’t have the tools to deal with them then. It was a rough night, my husband didn’t really want to be there, and we were all 28ish years old… still posturing and preening and competing. It makes me appreciate the wisdom and self-love that’s come with getting older.

Fast forward the cassette tape to 1998. Two broken marriages filled with addiction and co-dependency, and I hit rock bottom. I self-diagnosed as a sex addict and started seeking help. It was hard to find in the small town I lived in in the Sierras, so I carved out my own healing methods. It took several years for me to get “clean,” but I was committed to healing, and there was no turning back. It was a gradual process and I took many non-traditional paths. Foremost was my personal spiritual path, also very non-traditional.

Eventually I realized that after years of therapy, my sexuality still was not completely healed. I found my way to a school that taught sexual healing, and became an avid student of these arts. It made a huge difference for me and finally addressed the abuse and addiction on a visceral, physical level instead of just talk, talk, talk. I became a practitioner, helping women overcome sexual abuse.

The name change came with the reclaiming of my feminine nature through the sexual healing work. I changed it legally before moving to Maui in 2006. It was a reflection of becoming a whole new being, changed and healed. I changed it all, first, middle, and last, to Amrita Divine Grace.

In 2009, I published a book to help guide people that had experienced childhood sexual abuse to healing and wholeness. It’s called “Reclaiming Aphrodite-The Journey to Sexual Wholeness.” It won an a award. I gave away over 1000 downloads. It’s on Amazon in book form and Kindle.

It was through the sacred sexuality work that I met my Beloved, Apollo. I was living on Maui and we met in Sedona at a sacred sexuality conference. We had a long-distance but very connected relationship for 2 years, then he moved to Maui and we got married in 2011.

In 2013, I was diagnosed with stage 2B breast cancer. I knew exactly why I had drawn the cancer into my experience, and healed that aspect very quickly. I was cancer-free in less than 3 months, and I had a very easy, uplifting experience with cancer. (I know, that sounds weird, but it’s true.) I had a double mastectomy and a beautiful reconstruction that used my belly fat to create new breasts… no implants. I said no to chemo and radiation.

In December of 2015 we moved from Maui to Western North Carolina (Smoky Mountains) and bought a house (something we could not do on Maui). We are still settling in, and I’m investigating what’s next for me in the realm of helping others have better experiences with healing and recovery from cancer and from sexual abuse. Maybe there’s even a connection. I know that all the sexual healing work I did made a huge impact on my cancer recovery.

Here we are, back to the beginning of the story. Several people have reached out to me in the Facebook group, and I’m remembering that yes, I did actually have some friends. It was not a waste of time or energy. On the contrary, it’s been a huge healing for me to reconnect with this piece of my past. And my heart is open to receiving the love that I could not receive back then… in high school. The outpouring of love and compassion as I’ve shared my story has rocked my world and touched me deeply.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I welcome your comments below.

Love & blessings, Amrita Grace, formerly Kim Gammel, Class of 1980 Fresno High

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Sacred Inner Masculine

The sacred feminine is balanced by her counterpart, the sacred masculine. Rather than being outside of yourself, the sacred masculine is part of you. People of every gender carry both feminine and masculine energies inside of them; some people lean more into their feminine sides and some more into their masculine sides. The 20th century, with the rise of feminism and equality, brought more women into their masculine and into competition with men, driving some of the qualities of both masculine and feminine into the shadow. 

Has the shadow masculine aspect become dominant in running your life?

Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

Am I an overachiever, a doer, and an accomplisher?

Do I ever feel aggressive or competitive?

Is my self-worth tied up with my achievements?

Has the shadow feminine aspect become dominant in running your life?

Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

Do I often need to be “rescued”?

Do I ever feel helpless or dependent?

Do I have problems with giving, wanting only to receive?

The sacred feminine path is the antidote to being run by the shadow aspects of masculine and feminine, which naturally arise in varying amounts in people of all genders throughout their lives. With awareness and practice, it’s possible to shine a light on the shadow aspects and invite healthy, dormant qualities forward, bringing balance to your masculine and feminine sides.

Meet Your Inner Masculine

Set aside 20-30 minutes for this visualization/inner journey. Get really comfortable either sitting or lying down. Imagine yourself walking down a path, noticing whatever emerges around you as you walk. It might be trees or a beach or rocks or even something you don’t recognize. Eventually, you come to a meadow or clearing, and you see that there’s a park bench in the clearing. Head to the bench and sit down. Take a deep breath and relax on the bench. Invite your inner masculine to join you in the clearing. You can either speak the invitation out loud or say it internally.

Now simply be with whatever unfolds. You might see, hear, smell, or feel something, or you might “just know” he is there. He may come in a different form than you expect… an animal, a fictional character, or even a symbol or metaphor. Ask him if he is your inner masculine. If he says yes, ask him about himself: how he feels, what he needs, how you can best connect with him. If he says no, ask whomever it is to help you locate your inner masculine.

Ask him if he would like to make a deeper connection and support a state of wholeness and balance in your being. If he is not interested or says no, ask him why. Be curious and allow space for him to express his needs, concerns, and feelings. Ask for his support in ways you need support from the masculine. Be patient, as sometime the inner masculine will be reticent after decades of not being acknowledged.

If he says yes, and you want this too, invite him into a ceremonial sacred inner marriage for the purpose of harmonizing the masculine and feminine aspects of yourself. If he agrees to the sacred inner marriage, let him know that will happen in a separate ceremony.

As you part ways, bow in Namaste or hug or do whatever feels good to honor the newly established connection and then take the path back in the direction you came from. When you feel ready, open your eyes.

Self-Reflection Questions

What does my inner masculine look like, feel like, sound like, and/or smell like?

What color or shape did he take? Did his color or shape change during the encounter?

How did he respond to my questions?

What kinds of support did I ask for?

I invite you to share your answers in the comments section.

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The 7-Month Homecoming

Our HomeMy last blog was posted on 11/1/15, more than 7 months ago. What’s up with that? Big, big change, that’s what! Nothing less than the beginning of a whole new life. It all began with an invitation…

Did you know that I’ve written another book? Probably not, as it’s not been published yet. It came pouring out of me in 30 days in April 2015. The working title is “Dancing With Cancer – The Sacred Feminine Path to Wholeness.” I sent it over to my priestess sister Anyaa McAndrew to read and she liked it so much she invited me to collaborate with her to create a new process for women with cancer during weeklong Dancing With Cancer workshops.

Ultimately, the workshops got put on the back burner for now. The awe-inspiring process that followed that invitation started with a seed idea that grew fast and healthy and strong and got us moved completely off of Maui in 30 days time and sent us wandering for a few weeks, set free of our “stuff” while it rode the slow boat to the mainland.

IMG_1851I had no idea I was ready to leave Maui after nearly a decade… until it was instantly crystal clear. We were magnetized to the Isis Cove community in the Smoky Mountains of Western North Carolina, home of the aforementioned priestess sister, Anyaa. We landed in Isis Cove in mid-January, after an extended visit with my in-laws which included a Caribbean cruise for their 50th anniversary. Talk about confusing to my body… Maui, then to Minneapolis in December/January, to the Eastern Caribbean, back to Minnesota, then the 2-day drive to Isis Cove. It was -10 when we left Minnesota, dropping to -15 as we crossed Wisconsin. It was “only” in the high teens/low 20’s when we arrived in North Carolina, balmy in comparison.

Irestone CabinWe passed the winter in a wonderful, tiny cabin at the top of the mountain in Isis Cove, with stellar views of the Smokeys and no insulation. I had a really hard time getting warm. That seems like just yesterday, and now we are running the A/C.

We spent the better part of 7 months looking for a home to buy, after initially bidding on a house that was on the edge of Isis Cove. That house turned out to be a “lipstick on a pig” situation… it showed well and looked good, but underneath and above, it was a mess. We let it go just before Christmas, days before we left Maui for good, and picked up the search again in mid-January. We closed escrow in May on a wonderful place 5 minutes from Isis Cove, in the middle of 6.5 acres.

What’s been most interesting about this move is that I’m being called back into the realms of sacred sexuality. I thought I was all done with that calling when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013, but I started getting invitations very quickly. The first was to film a 3 hour trauma-release sexual healing session that I coached a couple through as part of a series with 3 other amazing teachers. That went spectacularly well. The series will be launched in the fall. The next was an invitation to do an interview for a conscious sexuality conference, also airing in the fall. And now, I’ve been invited to be interviewed for World Women’s Orgasmic Offering Day, a charming combination of ceremony and sacred sexuality. I’m going to speak about reclaiming our aliveness as we age. Oh, and I’m offering a 2-day workshop with Caroline Muir called Aphrodite Arising – Sacred Sexual Feminine Awakening in October at the Illuminated Heart Retreat Center in Isis Cove.

Screen Shot 2016-06-15 at 11.53.42 AMAnother amazing synchronicity was finding out about Debra Hawley’s book Reclaiming Magdalen – A Memoir of Sexual Healing. The similarities between us, especially our healing paths, right down to the cover art on our books (mine is Reclaiming Aphrodite-The Journey to Sexual Wholeness), has been a stunning and very uplifting discovery. We will meet in early September. I can hardly wait to meet this new (ancient) sister/friend.

I’m seeing a theme here. Dancing with Cancer meets Sacred Sexuality. Sexual healing and how it contributes to cancer prevention and recovery. (It sure did for me!) I’m open and available. I’m cheering on a younger generation that is enthusiastic about sexual healing. And I’m celebrating re-entering sacred sexuality at a new octave, one where I get to let go of the sense of shame and hiding about what I do. (What would Grandma think?) Really, I was simply afraid of being judged, and I still am… but what’s more important are the gifts I can give, and they are extensive. It would be downright immature and irresponsible to withhold them in order to save face. Right?

Please share your response in the comments below. I welcome all comments.

Love & blessings, Amrita

 

 

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Post-Mastectomy…. Burlesque?

When I want to feel empowered, I dance. Dance has carried me though times of greatest challenge and greatest joy. But I never dreamed I would be performing Burlesque on my 53rd birthday, 2-1/2 years post-mastectomy.

Being born the day before Halloween, most of my birthday parties have included costumes. The last time I had a party was when I turned 50, a few months before my breast cancer diagnosis. I didn’t have another party until this year (2015), and I was not planning a costume party. But a week before the party, Goddess whispered in my ear… “DANCE!” and it began to emerge. A roaring 20’s theme and a Moulin Rouge-style burlesque performance. “REALLY?” I asked… and the answer was Yes. Really.

I set up a dance studio in my garage. Grabbed the mirrored closet door and threw a rug down. Spent hours finding music. Went to the Halloween store for a few costume items. Chose a stage name: Ruby Pearl. Watched some YouTube instructional videos. And I dress-rehearsed all week.

Ruby arms halfI have a long history of bringing sacredness to dance. As a belly dancer for many years, I taught women of all ages, shapes, and sizes to wiggle and jiggle and love their bellies. My intention for this birthday performance was to embody beauty, sensuality, grace, and empowerment for the people (especially the women) who would be watching. To show them what’s possible. And it blew way past all my hopes and expectations.

What was so sacred about this dance for me was that I’ve been calling forth my own Shakti to be expressed in a more balanced way, instead of only within the container of my marriage. After spending many years recovering from sexual addiction, I had my Shakti wrapped up tight and saved only for my marriage. But there comes a time when I get to trust that I can bring my full life force expression to the world and that it will be appropriate and welcomed. That time is now.

The burlesque performance was a full-on Reclaiming Aphrodite experience. I had so much fun and the audience absolutely loved it. The women came up to me afterward feeling so empowered and inspired!

This year (2017) is much more sedate for me, birthday-wise, as I  prepared to leave for Costa Rica in just a few days to facilitate a Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing Retreat for women with Caroline Muir. Little did I know what I was calling in with that burlesque performance! A move from Maui to North Carolina and the creation of The Sacred Feminine Mystery School!

I’ll be teaching one last time with Caroline (after Costa Rica) before she moves to Panama to semi-retire. That will be April 2018 in Maui. A true full-circle homecoming for both of us.

So tell me (in the comments)… what archetypes are you playing with this Halloween?

With so much love, respect, and joy, Ruby Pearl (Amrita Grace)

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